People are buying bags of air from a Kanye concert...

News Flash from the shallow end of the gene pool! People are bidding on eBay for bags of air allegedly from Kanye West concerts. It takes a level of exceptional stupidity to even consider attempting to sell a bag of air online. It takes a complete shitwit to buy said bag.

Let's make something perfectly clear. Hip hop music is for the intellectually stunted. Ever since Sean Puffy Diddy Daddy Combs (or whatever) pressed play on Led Zepplin's Kashmir and mumbled "uh huh, yeah, uh huh, yeah, come with me," two things have been prove; 1) the level of talent in mainstream music has hit rock bottom and 2) hip hop fans will literally buy anything.  When you idolize a man who married a porn star and named his daughter after a compass direction, you clearly have too much disposable income and shouldn't get that pay raise at McDonald's you've been clamoring about.

Cokehead's wife steals stash; calls cops

On the flip side of an innocent man being punished is this insufferable dipshit. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to Robert Collins, an Ohio resident who called 911 to report his wife had jacked his cocaine. When police arrived, they arrested him for possession of drug paraphernalia and misuse of 911. 

I have an obvious question but I'll ask it anyway: How many rails of blow do you have to snort before you slowly begin to look like a villain in a Miami Vice episode? I'm considering a career change.

 

NASCAR lifts Kurt Busch's suspension

2004 Champ Kurt Busch is free and clear to get back in #41 car after missing the first 3 races of the season. Have to say, about freakin' time. Kurt was suspended indefinitely from NASCAR based on allegations made by an ex-girlfriend. Here's the problem with that: he was never charged with a crime. The DA of Delaware stated there wasn't enough evidence to bring the allegation to court.

NASCAR's executive VP, Steve O'Donnell, said "We have made it very clear to Kurt Busch our expectations for him moving forward, which includes participation in a treatment program and full compliance with all judicial requirements as a result of his off-track behavior."

What off-track behavior? Kurt has essentially been found innocent. Since when are people punished before they are even charged in a court of law? Better yet, how about an apology for denying the man the right to show up to work for three races? Back pay?

Say what you will about the fans, and trust me when I say I know every NASCAR joke ever written, but even folks who hate Kurt Busch were disgusted by the violation of his rights. Considering how many drivers have already been injured this season due to the lack of safety on the track, NASCAR has better things to do than violate the soul of being an American.

Welcome back, Kurt. 

God Bless the University of Oklahoma!

You know what's fun? Being a college student on a bus with your friends, drinking, and heading to a sporting event.  You know what's fucking idiotic? Making racist chants implying you'd lynch an African American in 2015. That will, in the least, get you expelled, jackasses.

It took all of two days for the University of Oklahoma to shut down fraternity Sigma Alpha Epsilon and expel two of the students leading the following chant:

"There will never be a ni**** SAE. You can hang him from a tree, but he can never sign with me. There will never be a ni**** SAE."

Some people will say something something blah blah about free speech, and those assholes are just racist bigots trying to excuse this behavior. A video of over privileged white college kids getting their Klan rally on in 2015 is even more pathetic when you remember it appears days after the 50th anniversary of Bloody Sunday in Selma in which African Americans where beaten by state troopers for wanting the right to vote.

Most of us here at AAD are University of Texas fans. When the Red River Rivalry comes back around, we will drink beer, eat red meat, and talk some shit to the Okies. In the mean time, we all bleed red, white, and blue regardless of color or university. Props to UO for handling their business and setting an example for the rest of our country.

PS - Your team still sucks. Hook 'em Horns!

We're ready for the Kickoff!

Hello, good evening, and welcome to Americans Are Dumb. We have created this site as a satire on American culture. The United States of America is a beautiful and bizarre region of the world where people are able to express themselves freely and let their freak flags fly high. We celebrate that spirit of individuality. We also celebrate our ability to laugh at ourselves as a nation. This site will mock and ridicule everything from celebrities to politicians, from elitists to rednecks. Nothing is sacred other than our rights to free speech and a cathartic laugh. So, before you bombard us with some illiterate trolling email, just remember; it's a joke, not a dick. Try not to take it so hard.